


After The Exams

by Effloresense



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Awkward First Times, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Sweet, he mostly succeds, he tries so hard to be nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effloresense/pseuds/Effloresense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shin has completed his national exams and he goes to see Heroine's first concert since the accident to surprise her. She has a surprise for him to consummate their relationship in celebration. Slight AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shin 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Concert

The door clatters as the wind blows it shut behind me. I look around at the layout as I rub my hands and arms to warm up from the late January chill outside. I spot a place and quickly slide into a table off to the side in the cozy venue she's playing at, gently laying the single rose I brought with me to the side. It's not full in here, but it's a respectable enough crowd for a Tuesday night. Most of the people honestly look like they're just there for the food at this point. It makes sense, they're just the opening act tonight for a band that is starting to take off. More might come later. 

I'm sure she won't even see me in the dark with the bright lights up at the front. That's how these things go, right? The lights blind you so it's more comfortable to perform in front of a bunch of people. Everyone just looking like shadows except those that are right up front. At least once they are actually up there to perform for real.

The band is just finishing setting up. Interesting, they're starting off as acoustic tonight. Doesn't look like they have the rest of their kit, so I guess they're going to stay acoustic for their set. As I look around at the art on the walls, I figure that that probably makes sense for the style of venue they're in. More indie, less pop. 

I haven't seen her in almost two weeks as I finished the final cramming for my exams, not even a break for almost three weeks. I just finished them Sunday, and I slept almost all of Monday. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. She dropped by daily to give me some sort of baked good or hug for stamina. When mom wasn't around she even would kiss the top of my head or my cheek. We didn't even get much time at my birthday, at Christmas, at New Year's. Never staying long, the contact was so brief I barely got any kind of recharge from her. But it definitely felt good knowing she was thinking about me so much when I just didn't have time to think about her.

That's why I'm here. To surprise her. She didn't know I knew her first gig since the accident was tonight. I think she was wanting to get it out of the way in case her nerves came back. But I wouldn't miss this for the world. They had been practicing a ton and finally got someone to give them a chance after they had dropped off the face of the earth with her recovery. 

The waitress takes my order just as the lights in the cafe dim a little and a spotlight shines on the microphone out front. Delicate as always, she picks her way over to the microphone. That shy head bob of hers as she introduces the band. Her smile is the brightest thing on the stage though. My breath hitches just looking at her. 

Fuck it's been too long since I've properly seen her, my heart is aching. Why did I have to decide to see her first in front of all these people? Her hair is styled a bit looser, her dress a bit longer but flowing and showing a bit more cleavage than I would prefer. I see her take a deep breath, and then she looks back to signal the drummer.

There is no hesitation in her voice when she starts to sing though. All the issues there had been with her very first gig were a distant memory. Her voice is so strong and clear. My thumbs are drumming on the table along with each of their songs; I know them all by heart from having watched them practice so much. 

Every single time the bass player gets off rhythm for a beat or two though makes me cringe. She has got to fire that guy. But I know she won't until I'm up to speed. I guess I better get back to practicing so I can audition properly for her. Got time now that the exams are done. The way the drummer is looking at him, I suspect he wants to fire the bass player too. Good to know.

I nibble on my chicken skewers, but mostly, I'm enthralled with her. Watching the audience, I think they are all charmed too. You can tell by how they are not so much eating as watching as the songs progress. 

I recognize that song. That's their planned last song of the last year. My eyes close and I just listen to her voice wash over me. It's a energetic and sweet love song, so well suited to her. I never did ask, but I think it's one she penned for me. It showed up in the practice schedule just after we started dating, at least. 

Yeah, the audience enjoyed their performance as much as I enjoyed her voice. And she is so damned cute thanking them. Not that I'll tell her that. The guitarist knocks her shoulder as they are collecting their gear and points in my direction. Ah, I guess I've been spotted. I see her squint in my direction, and then her eyes go wide with surprise as our eyes unexpectedly connect. She whispers to him, grabs a couple bits of gear and I think thanks him.

My hand won't stop fidgeting. I'm even playing with the bamboo rather than eating. Why am I nervous? But next thing I know, my girlfriend is sitting right across from me, beaming that 10,000 watt smile at only me. I can't even breathe; I must look like an idiot.


	2. Heroine 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving the Club

The last thing I expected of tonight was Shin to be waiting in a corner of the live house. I guess that was silly of me though. His exams were this weekend. I'm sure his mom passed on the message that I stopped by yesterday when he was still sleeping. 

After Aoi points out that Shin is sitting in a corner, I scramble to get my work done so I can make my way over to him as quick as I can after our set. I look back for a moment, and the guys are all smirking. I am so not going to hear the end of this next practice.

There are seriously too many people between me and my boyfriend. 

I finally make my way to him and slip into a chair across from him. I did well tonight, and I can't help but smile that he saw it. I don't get that look on his face, but I'm just so excited!

"Did you see the whole thing?"

There's a pause before he seems to have a moment to respond. "Uh, yeah, I got here just before you started playing. Um, do you want one of my skewers?" 

I grab one before he even finishes offering. "Oh hell yes, I couldn't eat for a moment today I was so nervous. I'm starving."

His eyes look soft at me, with a gentle smile on his face. "No one other than me would have noticed that you were." I feel like my heart might burst!

"So come on! How was the show? Tell me tell me tell me!"

Okay, the energy of performing might be still affecting me. The crowd really seemed to enjoy us, but the one person I want to please most is sitting right across from me and I'm eager to hear what he thought since he gives such good critiques.

"I.. Uh... You... your voice was strong tonight. That was really nice to see." His smile is a little lopsided. Clearly, he's feeling awkward about saying anything. "I'm really glad the practices have brought you to beyond where you were... before." He stumbles like he always does when he references the accident. But this was my first performance since then. It would have been conspicuous had he avoided the topic completely. His fingers are drumming on the table, and I gently place my hand on top of his. He stills, and his eyes close briefly. He kinda looks like he's collecting his thoughts. 

"What else?"

He refocuses on me with a brief smile, and pulls his hand away to rub the back of his neck like he does when he's unsure of himself. "Clearly, the bassist was bored. Can he even keep on beat?" Yeah, Rei was off tonight. 

"He tries."

"You need to replace him."

"Are you ready then?" He scowls a little at that.

"You know I haven't been able to practice lately."

"Then we'll just have to wait until I can show you off to the rest of the guys."

He can't argue with that. If I get someone else, and they are good, we won't replace them with him. And he really does want to be near me. I bet to keep an eye on me. He doesn't get that they're basically brothers to me. But he's never once told me I couldn't because the band is all guys, even though I know he's jealous. They don't even bother to flirt as far as I can tell, and I'm okay with that. 

His eyes shift off to the side and next thing I know, there's a red rose in front of my face. "I-I wanted to c-congratulate you on returning to the stage" he mumbles. I pluck it from his fingers with the briefest of brushes along his glove. I swear our connection is so strong, I jolt from the electricity. All I can do is bring the rose to my nose and breathe deep. I'm sure I'm blushing as much as he is if not more. 

"Anyway," he works to bring the topic off him and back onto the performance. "You missed a few lyrics in the third song." 

My face can only flush a deeper red and my shoulders drop a little. He caught that. Of course he did. "Y-you know our songs that well?"

"Of course I do, idiot. I've only been watching you practice for the last two years," he snaps. And then he looks away, his arm almost trying to hide his face. "Uh... but your voice was strong enough you just went with it. It was... a g-good performance." Oh my precious boyfriend. He's trying so hard with forward compliments. His hand moves back down to the table, and I immediately cover his hand again, the leather smooth under my fingertips. 

"Yeah, the band can still use work, but I think it's the sort of thing that will only get better with live audiences."

His lips curl into a small smile again, "Yeah, I'm sure most of the problem is nerves. It didn't irritate me nearly as much the last practice I went to."

"OH!" I almost forgot to ask him! This is the first I've seen him since his exams. I'm about to ask him about them when he looks me straight in the eye. 

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?"

I wasn't expecting that. "I-I was kinda hoping to see the main band, see if I can get some pointers."

His fist turns and he interlaces his fingers with mine without breaking eye contact. "You can do that next time. I haven't really seen you in three weeks. I'd like some quiet time with just you." His eyes are so intense with longing. My gaze drops and all I can see are his incredible lips. 

A snap decision is the best I can do. "I'll let the guys know."


	3. Shin 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Apartment

We slip quickly into her apartment so as to avoid chilling it with wind and snow. We shake our coats a little to get the last flakes off them so they can be hung up. She holds on to my arm as she slips off her boots and hops away again to avoid the few wet spots as we start stripping off our preparations against winter. 

I'm slower with my boots, so she lightly moves off towards the kitchen while I start the task of getting them off. "Are you sure you don't want something warm to drink, Shin?"

"No," I call back after her, "melon soda is fine. If you have it. Otherwise I'm good." I can hear her puttering in the kitchen as she's setting a kettle on. How she never realizes that I feel warm just being near her and that's why I don't need anything warm to drink, I will never understand. 

Her laughter is like sunshine as she walks back over to me, bottle already opened. "Your tastes never change, Shin. It's good that I keep these on hand now just for you." I look up as I'm finishing the last bit of my second boot. She's holding it until I'm ready. Always so thoughtful. I look back down so she doesn't see my smile as I yank the damned thing off. They may look cool but damn they are impractical sometimes. 

I stand back up, quickly taking my slightly damp gloves off to shove them in my jacket pocket. She's smiling at me, and gently kisses the bottleneck before handing the soda over to me. Oh man, is she going to tease me like this the whole of the evening? I may not be able to stay long if she keeps all that up. I already want to start running my hands along her thighs. Wasn't she just last week blushing about indirect kisses and the like even though I've gotten her comfortable with a little more? The coolness of the bottle calls attention to just how hot I feel. 

She turns with a slight flounce of her skirt to head back to the kitchen to heed the kettle's call. Just a little more vigor... No. Get ahold of yourself, man. Always the question: sit on the bed where she can sit next to me, or sit in one of the floor chairs and be safer. I sit down on her bed and take a large swig of my soda. Let the sweet bubbly smoothness slide down my throat. I feel like every moment is punctuated with exclamation points I am that hyper aware of everything around myself. Before I know it, my soda is done. I notice then that she had left a small lip print when she kissed the bottle. 

The smell of hot cocoa fills the apartment as I see her huddled around a steaming mug drifting her way back towards me. "If you leave your stage makeup on too long, your face is going to break out you know." Her smile falters a little at my abrupt comment. Damnit, I wasn't going to do this tonight. 

"O-oh. Yeah. You're right. I-I should go take care of that." She places her cocoa down on her nightstand and starts to scamper off to her bathroom when I shoot out my hand and grab hers to stop her for a moment.

I can tell I'm blushing. "Wait. I'm sorry. I've been trying hard to be less rude to you and that was rude."

Her gentle smile comes back at my apology. She knows better than anyone how I have been working to treat her better, and I can feel forgiveness in that smile. "You don't have to. You're right. I'll just be a moment while I wash up. My cocoa needs to cool a little anyway." Her hand squeezes mine and I can feel my stomach tense in response. Hesitantly, she leans over and kisses me on the top of my head, and I have a fantastic view of the swell of her breasts. She waits for an inbreath when she stands back over, and I reluctantly let her go. 

Damnit damnit damnit. I'm the idiot tonight. What am I doing? She is being a little more flirty than usual. I'm sure she doesn't even realize what she's doing to me. I feel tauter my bass' G-string, responding to every nuance of her. Echoes of the rush of water come from the bathroom, and I flop back on the bed continuing to berate myself. What did I come back here expecting? We do that dance, she gets nervous, and talks about how she has an early class or an early shift, and I really probably should leave so I'm good too. 

Before I know it, she is leaning over, looking down at my flopped out self, fresh faced, and switched out of her sweater into a tank top I bet she sleeps in. Skirt is still there though. She undid her hair too, and it's a curtain of loose waves reaching down from her face tickling my cheek. She is most beautiful like this to me, and I can tell I stop breathing for a moment. I have to avert my eyes or I may never start breathing again. "You feeling okay, Shin?"

"Y-yeah, I'm good." I lean back up and she pulls back a moment. 

Creases at the corners of her eyes and drawn together eyebrows, she looks worried about me. "Are you sure? I can take your temperature to be certain..." She moves a little closer, concern so apparent even in her tone.

I run my naked fingers through my hair. "Yes! Yes, I think I'm just adjusting to the temperature inside compared to outside. Feeling warm but not bad." With that I sit all the way back up. 

She gingerly sits next to me with her legs tucked underneath her while she cradles her cocoa again. A half melted marshmallow cat looks back at me and I scowl at it. She leans in, and my arm slips right around the slip of a girl. "Ok then. Mmmmm..." she wriggles a little in my embrace. "Warm. I like warm. You're warm."

I chuckle, "I guess that means you like me?"

"Yeah, but only because it's winter," she teases me. I scowl at her, but I am so glad we got back to our banter after August, I can't even be actually grumpy.

Her lips look so luscious wrapped around the edge of her mug as she sips her cocoa. Her tongue flicks out briefly to capture the rest of the chocolate left on her lips. "You act like I'm going to let you go at some point." I can tell my voice is getting huskier. I need to hold back, wait until she's ready given everything that happened last summer. Work to keep my breathing even. Control. I want to kiss her. Can't. 

And that moment she chooses to nuzzle into me with a slight purr changing the subject, "You know, I'm really proud of you finishing your exams. You think you did well on them then?" 

"Best as I can figure out, y-yeah. I-I'm..." it is really challenging to keep my composure while she is rubbing up against me even if it's in the little bit and fully clothed state that she's in. "Um, I'm pretty surrre..." I swallow. "I can get in with, um, scholarship wherever I want. I just have to find who gives the best package to me. But I know where I want to go."

"Where?"

"Not telling. Not until I know I got in."

She takes another sip and puts her cocoa back down before snuggling back in her head nestled into my chest. Her voice is soft, "So, then, what would you like to do to celebrate?"

Her shallow breath ratchets up the heat in my own body. "Can I kiss you?" I whisper in her ear. It's the first thing that comes to mind. She likes it when I ask first, and I'm trying so hard to be good. Oh man, I think she took her bra off too when she was changing. I can see the tips of her nipples breaking the smooth curves of her shirt. 

Her lips curl in a small smile, "We can start there." I freeze. I-is she actually offering what I think? Her hand snakes a little under the edge of my shirt. She really has come a long way from a couple months ago; the contact of skin on skin jolts me into action.


	4. Heroine 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making Love

Shin twists abruptly, and I worry for a moment that I was doing something wrong when I started touching his stomach. But the look on his face is more startled than upset. He lifts me up and I clumsily crawl into his lap to be more direct. I'm sort of hovering above him, uncertain about putting my whole weight on him. 

His warm wet breath tickles my cheeks and chin as he looks at me. His mouth slightly agape, his eyes wide, he looks so reverential towards me that my nerves start melting away. I can feel the slight tremor in his fingers as he cups my rump. I feel my whole body throb with every breath as I snake my arms around his neck, searching for some part of him I can hold on to. He pauses just for a second as his breath stops. 

His lips kiss me like lightning -- sudden, urgent, irresistibly drawn together. His left arm slips up my back while his right hand cradles my ass and he pulls me closer. My whole world feels on fire and I'm grateful for the months of getting me comfortable with kissing. I lean into him, my breasts grazing against his firm torso, and a groan escapes his lips between kisses. Reluctantly, he pulls back to look at me, our breaths already hot and ragged. I try to follow him, not wanting the kissing to stop. When I open my eyes, I see that his lips are curled into a smirk. Clearly he likes that I want more. 

That leather choker is still around his neck. I should help that off of him. Besides, I definitely haven't seen his neck since we started dating. I wonder why. He started wearing it shortly before he asked me out. My fingers start pulling at the strap to undo the top and he stops them. At my quizzical look, he reaches around back and unsnaps it, leaving his throat pale and bare. "That works better," he smiles.

My fingertips start ghosting the edge of his throat and I see his eyes roll back a little and his breath hitch. Oh! He's sensitive there! That must be why. I lean over a little and try pressing the lightest of kisses right below his ear. The stronger pressure from his hands on my rear and the rumble in his throat tells me I must have done something right. He lets me do that a second, even a third time on the other side before he lifts my chin again to kiss me even more deeply. I can feel with all the rocking on his lap this produces how there is less room between us and I definitely feel closer to him.

I don't even notice in the midst of all the kissing that he had managed to work his fingers into my panties and was touching me quite intimately. Until I really do. My breath starts getting away from me and all I know is I want to feel this more. I want him to keep touching me. My hips start moving on their own as I grind into his fingers and my mouth is crashing upon his and my arms trying to bring me as close as possible to him. Something is inside me curling against me and all I can do is move like I'm trying to catch something until my world just explodes in the blinding light of euphoria, my head thrown back as I ride this wave of bliss. 

As I start to catch my breath, I look back down to my beloved he looks almost as out of breath as I am. The way his lips part is just so so yummy. I see the moment his eyes turn to a wicked glint when he slips his fingers out of me and into his mouth. His eyes roll back a little as he clearly savors the taste he has right there. My teeth lightly catch the edge of my bottom lip, and he growls. Growls! His arms wrap decisively around me as he stands up. I feel a swift turn as he lays me back down on the bed. 

Shin has pulled away a little as he works to get his pants off. I mean, they undo just fine, but they are tight enough that he struggles a little getting them over his feet and completely off, boxers and all. The soft cusses under his breath are so endearing with every hop. I can't help but giggle, and he's frowning by the time he crawls in back up to me. "It's not funny, idiot." 

"If you say so, love," I giggle. His face is bright red. But how else can I respond when he's that cute? My hand comes up to his face to caress him. His cheek is just slightly stubbly. Huh. I guess he's shaving regularly these days. I kiss him lightly, and when I pull back he looks it a little lost in sensation before his eyes focus again back on me. 

"I love it when you kiss me. Do that again," he rasps. It's a little more awkward than when I brushed his lips before, but it gives him the opening he wants. After a short moment, he takes control to deepen the kiss. Next thing I know, I'm pressed into the bed, his hands working to slide my panties off. He gets them mostly off; at least one leg is free and as he presses against me, his hand is sliding up my stomach to catch that I haven't been wearing my bra for a while. 

His hand is so gentle as it teases my nipple. I feel his hardness against my thigh. What should I be doing with that? Is that comfortable for him? I pull back a moment.

"Is this okay? D-do you want to stop?" The uncertainty is so clear in his voice as he breathlessly watches me. 

I know tonight is the night. I knew before we ever came home. "You're fine, Shin. I love you. And I trust you."

He blinks only once, and then he is moving fast as he can to his pants to grab a small foil packet. He fumbles a little as he tears it open, and as he looks for which way it goes on. But once he figures it out, he actually rolls the condom down his cock like he's been practicing or something. I know my eyebrow is raised with that. 

"Don't look at me like that," he grumbles, clearly a little embarrassed the way he won't look me in the eye at the moment. In fact, he tries to distract me with a kiss. He's so damned cute, I let him.

We grind against each other as he moves to the space where my neck, collarbone, and shoulder meet as he sucks hard. It's a little like fireworks in front my face as he does that it feels so painful yet good. That is so going to be a hickey. The way he's grinding though, it's a little like he's expecting something. 

"Shit," I hear him mutter. He pulls back a moment, "Doesn't just happen." He grabs his cock and positions it at my opening. He looks me in the eye, "You're sure this is okay?" The concern in his eyes is so tangible, I couldn't possibly say no. He cares for me so much; I'm grateful he's my first.

He moves so slow. At first, it feels weird. Like pressure. He is watching me so close. His movement stops as I accommodate. "Are you okay? Does it hurt? I can stop." he gasps.

"I'm fine. It's just a little... Weird. Just give me a second." I breathe for a few seconds with my eyes closed. I'm sure my face is screwed up a little, and I see worry on his face in the brief second I peek. Breathing relaxes me. As my heart rate drops a little, I can look back up at him with a bright smile on my lips. The moment our eyes meet again, relief is etched on his whole face. 

Honestly, it burns a little. But it's not bad, just intense. So long as he's gentle, I'll be okay. I nod lightly, and he pulls back a little so he can thrust into me again. The groan that escapes his lips sounds like a prayer. He looks back at me and his gaze is brighter than the sun for intensity. My gaze drops to his chest and I am mesmerized by how toned and strong he looks above me. His movements are slow, but they are this curious mixture of pain and intense pleasure. My hand drifts up towards his strong chest with the glint of his piercing catching my eye. 

He leans back with his thrusts starting up again. A couple of those and it's a jolt. OMG, that's good. A couple more and a light moan escapes my lips. His smile looks satisfied. Damn, that... That's nice. He starts moving a little more rhythmically and it feels so good. 

Next thing I know, I hear something... OMG, was that me? It sounded like a fart, and my eyes go wide and every muscle in my body goes stiff. 

Shin looks at me and chuckles, leaning down to my ear. "Bodies are bodies. They make noise. It's okay, baby." He kisses me gently and whispers again to me, "Besides, now, we're even." I look at his devilish eyes for a moment and smack him. He laughs and captures my lips, soothing away every moment of anxiety. It doesn't feel like it did, but as he starts moving again it feels as good as before he found there. So I can't complain. 

His hands slip up my tank top to caress my breasts. Everywhere his hands touch feel like they're on fire. And he finds that angle again. That amazing spot where all I see is lightning and all I can do is moan. As he works himself back and forth, his fingers find my nipples and just teases them lightly. The world is falling away as every nerve ending is alive and craving and rubbing against him as I can. My god, this feels incredible, and all I want is more as I move against his moving against me desperately wanting more, panting like there can't possibly be enough oxygen in the world. His fingers are gripping me in an awesome way as the next thing I know, every muscle goes tense and I'm shaking. His movements gets erratic as I hear a cry from the bottom of his throat. As I am getting a sense of myself I see his eyes are still closed as he slows to still. 

Panting, he looks down at me. We are both a little sweaty but he looks happy. Honestly, happier than I have ever see those reddish brown eyes look in my whole life. He looks at peace. Joyful even. Who knew Shin could project those emotions? He closes his eyes as he slowly pulls out of me, like he doesn't want to leave me.

Next thing I know, he's entangled with me as he curls up along my side. We're a mix of legs and arms. His torso is warm. And the rubber up against my thigh feels a little odd in comparison to our cooling sweaty skin. I don't quite want to remove myself from him either. I want to preserve this bubble of love for as long as I possibly can.


	5. Shin 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

My head is so comfortable resting at the swell of her breast. Maybe I should readjust so I can be more cradling her? But damn, her fingers are petting my hair and she smells so good still. I can't bring myself to do that. I just want to stay here forever.

She really... We really... I'd hoped it would be soon. I feel like a storm has calmed inside of me. She really is mine. I already knew I was hers, but... I'm in awe of the gift we just gave each other. 

I tilt my head up to look at her and see this serene look on her face as she had been gazing at me. A soft smile teasing the edges of her lips. "Beautiful..." the word escapes before I realize I had whispered at all. Her face flushes a deep red as she turns to try to hide behind her hair. My hand reaches for her to turn her back to me. "Please. Please let me look at you."

Her teeth bite her bottom lip and I have to remind myself to breathe again. She totally does not get how she stirs my heart. Even now.

Her voice is very small, "D-Did I-I do o-okay?" 

My thumb lightly strokes her cheek. "You were perfect. Better than I dreamed of even." Her eyes are so wide at my confession. 

"You DREAMED about... me? This?"

I scowl at her shock and drop my hand down a little as I lean up on my elbow, "Of course I did, idiot." At least she's sounding more like herself though. Flashes of remembered dreams and fantasies flash quickly past my vision and I have to reground myself in the now. "You are on my mind way more than you could ever know."

"Perv," she teases me lightly.

Time to go for the question on my mind though. "Well, if that's what you think of me, I have to ask... Did... Did you?"

"Did I what?" Confusion crowds onto her ever shifting face. Damnit, she's going to make me say it.

"D-didIgetyouoff?" I rush through it, the flush blooming on my face. Her wide eyed blank surprised look just sort of stares out past the both of us. "If I didn't, I'll work harder next time. But I need you to tell me."

Her silence is killing me and I am tense everywhere. "Really, I want to make you feel amazing," I implore.

Her lips move without sound for a couple seconds as she looks like she's really thinking about it, "I think so? What's it supposed to feel like?"

I can't believe this girl. Oh. I guess I should be thinking woman now. Maybe girl is still right if she's this naive even after that. How is it even supposed to feel for a girl? "Hell if I know what it's like for girls," I can't help but grumble in my mortification. That was one thing I didn't read up on. And it didn't sound the same like those video... "Nevermind. I just wanted to know if you feel good. It's not a hard question."

Damnit, now she's looking troubled and feeling a little stiff. I didn't want to do that to her. How do I save this? I bury my head back into her breast trying to recover at least a little of that euphoria again. Why did I have to ask?

Carefully, her soft voice starts to soothe me, "I can say I'm relaxed? A little sore, but not bad. I know I feel closer to you..." Her hand starts stroking my hair again. "I think I did though. It may take me a few more times before I am certain," that last turning her voice slightly mischievous. I look up at her through my hair and she is brighter red than I think I have seen her ever be. Oh My God, did my girl actually just say that? Maybe she is growing up finally.

I hug her tighter to me, having to tease her back. "I think I can work a few more practice sessions in. I want to make sure I know how to make you feel good. And with fewer fumbles." And quieter I whisper, "Thank you for being honest with me."

We cuddle in silence for a while like that. Next thing I know, her fingers lightly graze against my surface piercing my chest. "Does it hurt?" She's actually showing unprompted curiosity in my body. 

I'm not sure how to answer her though. "Uh, not really. If it's tugged or slammed against it does. But playing with it just feels a little odd."

"You never did tell me, why did you get it?"

I think for a moment because It's Cool isn't a good enough answer. "It reminds me I'm alive, I guess." That inquisitive look of hers. I don't think there's a way she doesn't look cute. "My clothes hit it, your fingers, the cold, it grounds me. It gets me out of my head and tells me that my choices are mine, my consequences mine."

"That's not full true any more though. You affect me too." Her voice so gentle yet strong. I think she's asking about how she fits with me now. Fiancé is not enough to know?

"True. And you make me a better man." 

"You keep being honest like that, Shin, I'm going to wonder what has happened to you."

"Idiot. Saying that now." She chuckles softly. As the chill starts to settle on me, I pull away, "I... I need to clean up. Be right back." And I run off to the bathroom before the condom can fall off. 

By the time I take care of everything, she is clothed back in her pajamas sitting cross legged on the bed. I hustle to start putting my underwear back on. As I start for my jeans though, she starts, "Are.. Are you going home tonight?" I hadn't even thought otherwise. 

"Is there an option to not?" 

"I think I'll be lonely if you go tonight." She does not play fair. Damnit, Mom is going to wonder where I am. But I don't want to leave her either.

I make a snap decision. "Gimme your phone."

"What?"

"Just give it to me," I grumble. She hands it over already open. That's just like her. I look at her and shake my head. But type out a note quick to my mom and send before she can say anything. 

"What did you do?"

"Sent a note to Mom. From you. Telling her I fell asleep here and not to worry. She may tease me later, but she already thinks of you as a daughter in law." Her smile welcomes me back to the bed and we settle under the covers with me as big spoon. She feels so tiny in my arms, but it is the most perfect feeling in the world. 

"It'll be true in a few minutes at least. You going to be okay like this?"

"Yeah," I gruffly respond, "I only brought one so I can't pounce you again until next time." She stills and I can't help but laugh to myself as she smacks my arm. 

Sleep has never been so refreshing in all my life.


End file.
